Every guy venting about his gf at night and then replying 'coming

30-second comedy short. Two realistic house cats, a chunky orange tabby and a skinny black-and-white tuxedo cat, sit side by side on a dim rooftop ledge at night, city lights blurred behind them. Warm orange and blue lighting, shallow depth of field, mockumentary-style camera with sudden zoom-ins for comedic timing. Their mouths move naturally in sync with speech. They whisper in sad-angry, deadpan voices like two exhausted men at a bar, constantly glancing over their shoulders. Burned-in white English subtitles at the bottom of the frame, synced to speech.

0-5s: Close-up of the orange tabby, ears flat, one eye twitching. Long, dramatic sigh.

Orange (whisper): "Bro... she woke me up at 5 AM to ask if I love her."

Subtitle: "Bro... she woke me up at 5 AM to ask if I love her."

Quick zoom-in on his tired face.

5-10s: Cut to the tuxedo, tail whipping, slowly shaking his head.

Tuxedo (whisper): "Mine knocked a glass off the table, looked me dead in the eye, and blamed ME."

Subtitle: "Mine knocked a glass off the table, looked me dead in the eye, and blamed ME."

Orange nods slowly in the background: "Classic."

10-15s: Two-shot, both staring at the skyline.

Orange (whisper): "She says I never listen. I'm a CAT. I don't listen to anybody."

Subtitle: "She says I never listen. I'm a CAT. I don't listen to anybody."

Tuxedo: "Respect the honesty, though."

15-20s: Tuxedo leans in, furious whisper, eyes wide.

Tuxedo (whisper): "She told me to 'use my words.' I HAVE four words. All of them are 'feed me' and 'move.'"

Subtitle: "She told me to 'use my words.' I HAVE four words. All of them are 'feed me' and 'move.'"

Orange wheezes silently, shoulders shaking.

20-25s: Both go quiet. Orange stares into the distance.

Orange (whisper): "That's it. I'm done. Tonight I'm leaving her."

Tuxedo (whisper): "Finally. Say it again, louder."

Orange (louder, voice cracking): "I'M LEAVING HER!"

Subtitles match.

25-30s: A distant female voice calls out: "Dinnerrr!" Both cats' ears shoot up instantly. They stare at each other, then bolt off the ledge in opposite directions. Cut to the empty ledge, one tiny "meow" echoes.

Orange (off-screen): "Coming, babe!"

Tuxedo (off-screen): "Coming, honey!"

Subtitles match. Fade to black.

Style: photorealistic, 4K, cinematic color grade, subtle city ambience, light comedic sound effects (record scratch on the "four words" line, tiny whoosh on the bolt-off). No cartoon look, no text other than subtitles.